Before I start this post, I have to say…. I had been seriously considering getting rid of the blog portion of my website.
As many of you can see and may imagine, it’s hard for me to keep up all of the different avenues I stay connected.
Most of my clients keep up with me through Facebook and the blog gets neglected. But so many times there are stories that just won’t without a blog.
Some of my clients have been with me since the very beginning. 7 years ago, I was married to the man who fathered my child.
Most everyone knows that unfortunately, that marriage did not work out and we separated in early 2012.
Sadly, a month ago today, my world was rocked.
A man I had known for ten years, loved for many of them and shared lots of life’s experiences with passed away in his sleep.
I have to be honest, my heart aches to write this post.
My grief wave is strong today as it is for my little one too, as today would have been his 37th birthday. I remember celebrating his 27th birthday and that hits me hard.
We may not have always seen eye to eye or been the best of friends, but we had many years that we were and losing the person who will remember those times with me is so painful.
I haven’t spoken much about my own grief, not many people ask the ex-wife if she is doing alright or how she is feeling.
True, my pain is mostly for this beautiful child he left behind- but there is still a part of my heart that grieves for a man I knew for a decade.
Most of you have seen our grief project- the photos that we take weekly of our journey through this pain.
If you haven’t, take a second to check out the page (up top, Grief365)
and my heart was breaking as I knew that this would be very, very hard.
Davin chose not to attend his father’s funeral and have a friend tape it instead, so he had not visited his grave yet.
He told me that today was the day he wanted to visit and bring him something for his birthday.
And mommy stood back and let him have his time.
While she cried.
Then we talked about happy times and remembered the things we miss about him.
And sent him birthday balloons in heaven.
(Mommy pulled it together)
Happy birthday, Brian.
I still wish I had one more chance to say thank you for this amazing little boy I’m blessed by every day.
For you mom’s out there who are divorced…don’t let the petty stuff cloud your shared love for your children.
Don’t let the little things turn into nothing fights.
Don’t forget to tell the fathers of your children that you appreciate what they do. No matter how big or how small.
Because life, is all too fleeting.
I never wanted my six year old to learn that so young.